Chapter 6: Maybe the Kids Aren't Alright

My heart is broken tonight. I can’t stop thinking about the night recently that Megan came to me in tears, saying how she’s so lonely. This quarantine business is really getting to her, and I want so bad to be able to fix it, but I just can’t. I don’t know what to do for my poor baby. And I know it’s not just her. Millions of children on the cusp of puberty (and even adults well past puberty) are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. This virus is killing people in more ways than just by infection. Depression is going to claim more lives during this time than infection, but what are we to do? Either we reopen and risk exposing the elderly and other high-risk people, or we don’t and we risk the lives of our children and other depression-battling people. We just can’t win.

              I myself have been struggling, too. It took longer to impact me, but even I have had my hours cut in half recently. I’m only working two days a week now, and left wondering how I’m going to provide for my family on just 14 hours a week. The first week off was the hardest. I felt so much anxiety, I didn’t know what to do. I’ve recently started getting back into art, and it’s helped some. But every time I think of our current situation and the entire situation, I feel so hopeless. This needs to end before it becomes so catastrophic we can’t recover.

Even the dog is exhausted

from being the emotional

support for a whole family.

Some of the art I've done recently.

              On a lighter note, Jack lost his first tooth the other day. He doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy, but he got a note and a dollar from her anyway. Even though he bit Steven in the process of getting it pulled. Despite that, it’s still a milestone and every child deserves a visit from the tooth fairy, whether they believe in her or not!

              And lastly, both kids (pretty much) finished another year of school! Megan actually still has some math to do, but she’s done with everything else, and with nothing but math to focus on, she should get through it pretty quickly. I just can’t believe one finished his first year of elementary and the other finished her last year of elementary. It blows my mind thinking I’ll have a middle-schooler next year. As far as Ronan, well he’s not in school yet, but he’s learned a new favorite word: “Wow!” And has also begun to support himself standing while holding onto furniture (although he still has trouble getting himself into a standing position, but he’ll stay standing if you stand him up next to something he can hold onto). These kids are just growing way too fast, and this year needs to start looking up soon so I don’t feel like it was just wasted time. The time I have with them is very precious and I want every minute to count!

Jack's home-made certificate of completion.

Megan's home-made certificate of completion.

              As always, stay well, my friends, and don’t give up. If you are also struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, please seek help. National Suicide Hotline number: 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741.